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【爸爸公子】梁繼璋 : 向孩子說謊 ....!

13/7/2014

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Picture
小孩子問:「說謊是不是一種不對的行為呢?」相信,任何一位父母都會馬上答:「當然不對!」

但如果小孩子再問:「那麼你們有沒有向我說過謊話呢?」可能,再能言善辯的父母,都會答不上口來。因為,根據調查顯示,絕大部分的父母,都曾經以謊話來令孩子更快和更容易就範。

去年美國聖地牙哥大學(University of San Diego)曾經以美國和中國的父母為研究對象。數據指出美國父母中,有84%都承認曾經向孩子說過謊話,而中國父母的比例,更高達98%,幾乎是全部人。

在芸芸謊話中,最多人說過的謊話就是當孩子在街上哭鬧,要父母買一些甚麼時,父母就會義正辭嚴地說:「你再鬧下去,我就會掉下你不管,自己回家去。」

實際上,又有幾多個父母會真的不顧而去呢?

其他父母常用的謊話有:

1.沒有糖果啦,下次再給你吧。

2.下次來才給你買這玩具。

3.你再吵下去,那叔叔(註:有時是剛好步過的一名警察)就會把你帶走。

4.不要一個人到處走,因為隨時會有拐子佬出現。

還有一些父母不願回答的問題,他們也會用一些謊話去交代,例如:BB是怎樣來的呢?

既然說謊是一種不好的行為,那麼父母向孩子說謊,豈不是不對嗎?

據心理學家認為,在某些情形下,父母向子女說出一些謊話,是可以接受的,因為,這些謊言在教導孩子方面,產生了一些催化作用,令孩子更願意接受某些正面的訓示。

不過,這個道理大人可能明白,小孩子就未必會。他們只會想:「明明說謊是不對的,為甚麼大人會向我說謊呢?」因此,大人也應該在適當機會下,向孩子灌輸一些可接受的善意謊言:例如:

1.朋友招呼你到他家作客,儘管飯菜不太合胃口,但臨別的時候,也可禮貌地說一句:「我很喜歡你煮的食物,謝謝。」

2.朋友很落力地為你表演,可能是唱歌,可能是拉小提琴,但無論你喜歡他的表演與否,也可禮貌地說一句:「不錯,繼續努力。」

3.人家送一份禮物給你,無論禮物是否你最喜歡的物品,也應該以感恩的態度說:「我很喜歡呀,謝謝。」

以上這些,都可視為善意的謊言,因為不想令聽的人不開心,但在大部分情形下,父母還是要鼓勵孩子說實話,尤其在犯錯後,如果為了要逃避懲罰而編造謊話,是非常不對的事。

當孩子真的向父母撒謊,記得要冷靜地處理,切忌有過大反應。否則,孩子下次說謊的機會可能更大。

讓他們明白說謊的害處,才是最好的解決方法!「狼來了」這故事就是最好的教材之一,不妨一試!

http://eastweek.my-magazine.me/index.php?aid=33331



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