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【爸爸公子】梁繼璋 : 仔難教定女難教 ....!

13/7/2014

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Picture
生仔好?還是生女好?這個問題,可能很多為人父母的,都會認真地考慮過。有人支持生仔好,因為他們認為外嫁的女,有如潑出的水;也有人支持生女好,因為很多兒子娶了太太後,眼中就只有枕邊人了。

誰還有空顧父母?反為女兒出嫁後,還會經常回來探望外家云云。不過,這篇文章想討論的,不是生仔較多回報,還是生女較多回報。這文章想帶出的,只是在照顧、溝通以至管教方面,哪一個性別較為容易呢?

外國一個調查指出,在受訪的父母中,有44%認為男孩較容易帶,只有16%認為女孩較容易帶。另外,有16%認為兩性均不容易,而有12%的父母,就認為要管教無論男孩或女孩,均沒有甚麼困難。

為甚麼有那麼多父母,會認為兒子較女兒容易教呢?可能,一位心理專家的分析,就可以解釋到其中原因吧。

專家認為,男孩子的思想較簡單,也來得較直接,他的說法就是:「男孩生來只懂得三種情緒:快樂、傷心、瘋狂。他們的基本需要也只有三種:吃、拉和跑。如果你能滿足他們這三種需要,他們就會很滿足了。」

另一專家也說:「男孩子的喜怒哀樂,都可從他的身體語言看得出來,跳來跳去代表正常和快樂。垂下肩膊不動彈,代表有不愉快情緒,高聲呼叫代表愉快、投入;靜默不語代表需要多些關注了。」

至於女孩又怎樣呢?

專家認為,一般女孩子由懂性開始,便已經會對自我形象有很大的困惑,美與醜,由很小時候已經開始帶來煩惱。加上世俗對美與醜有一定的框框,例如:瘦即是健美,令女孩子產生很多不必要的煩惱。

在交朋友方面,女孩子的友情也比男孩來得複雜。男孩子交朋友,純粹因為彼此談得來,有共同興趣;但女孩子較小心眼,很多小女孩根本不喜歡對方,她們成為朋友,只是環境驅使,或要從對方身上得到情報,或需要朋友在旁來增加安全感。

總括來說,女孩子的情緒較易波動,就像過山車一樣。因此,要了解她們,管教她們也就比男孩困難了。

當然,上述觀點,都只代表某些人的意見,不一定是每個小孩子的真實寫照。

唯一我認同的,是男孩和女孩,基於身體構造、性格和心理質素各有不同,在管教方面,自然會遇到不同的障礙。

最理想的管教方法,就是先了解,再就着他或她的性格特點,而設計出最適合的方法來。

正如另一專家帶出的觀點。

「很多人認為女孩較難管教,很多時只是因為她們會過早成為未婚媽媽;但其實男孩子也一樣有很多令人頭痛的問題,例如:打架、吸毒以至搞大女朋友的肚子。」

所以,誰比較難教?實在沒有一個肯定答案呢。

http://eastweek.my-magazine.me/index.php?aid=33517



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